Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.
Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
Phfft! Facts. You can use them to prove anything.
Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!
Trying is the first step towards failure.
To alcohol! The cause of -- and solution to -- all of life's problems!
I want to share something with you, the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one,
"Cover for me." Number two, "Oh, good idea, boss." Number three, "It was like that when I got here."
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get!
They have the Internet on computers now?
Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing
and then I can continue killing you with beer.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed.
That's the American way.
Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."
Homer Simpson
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