*Don't squat with yer spurs on.
*Don't let your yearnings get ahead of your earnings.
*Never miss a good chance to shut up.
*Don't dig for water under the outhouse.
*Never take down another man's fence.
*Never drive black cattle in the dark.
*The only good reason to ride a bull is to meet a nurse.
*Don't go in if you don't know the way out.
*Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone.
*If you climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride.
*Behind every successful rancher is a wife who works in town.
*The horse stopped with a jerk-- and the jerk fell off!
*Any cowboy can carry a tune. The trouble comes when he tries to unload it.
*Always drink upstream from the herd.
*If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now 'n then to make sure they're still there.
*Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
*The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.
*Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
*Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
*The biggest troublemaker you'll ever deal with watches you shave his face every morning.
*Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
*The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
*When in doubt, let your horse do the thinkin'.
*Basketball, Football, Baseball... RODEO: Bring yer own BALLS!
*It's better to keep your mouth shut an look stupid than open it and prove it.
*Treat a woman like a racehorse, and she'll never be a nag.
*When a cowboy's too old to set a bad example, he hands out good advice.
*There' are two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
*If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
*Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.
*Never ask how stupid someone is 'cause they'll turn around and show you.
*Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
*If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.