AN ANNOTATED THERMOMETER
60 -Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe)
50 -Miami residents turn on the heat
40 -You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably Minnesotans go swimming.
35 -Italian cars don't start
32 -Water freezes
30 -You plan your vacation to Australia, Minnesotans put on T-shirts, Politicians begin to worry about the homeless, British cars don't start
25 -Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming
20 -You can hear your breath, Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents move south.
15 -French cars don't start, You plan a vacation to Houston, Cat insists on sleeping in your bed.
10 -Too cold to ski, You need jumper cables to get your car going
5 -You plan your vacation in Mexico, American cars don't start
0 -Alaskans put on T-shirts, too cold to skate
-10 -German cars don't start, Eyes freeze shut when you blink
-15 -You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansas residents stick tongues to metal objects,
Miami residents cease to exist
-20 -Cat insists on sleeping inside your pajamas with you, Politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start
-25 -Too cold to think, You need jumper cables to get your heart going
-30 -You plan a two week hot bath, The Mighty Monongajela freezes. Swedish cars don't start
-40 -Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweaters, your car helps you plan your trip south.
-50 -Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window
-60 -Hell freezes over, Polar bears move into evacuated igloos.